15 金 L23 (6)Parenting and Grandparenting
Our current vignette talks about grandparenting classes. The idea of a refresher course in baby care is quite interesting, isn’t it? Any grandparents will experience generational differences with their children about how kids should be raised let alone how they should be brought into this world.
let alone 〜言うまでもなく
You know the vignette says the best courses are taught by registered nurses who are certified childbirth educators. I’m sure those classes are best in more ways than one. Not only are the certified educators likely to provide reliable information thanks to their training, grandparents-to-be are probably more likely to accept and follow their advice. I mean it must be hard for prospective grandparents to take directions on child-rearing from their own children. Who wouldn’t think, “Hey, I raised you, didn’t I?
You survived and you’re basically normal. Don’t tell me how to navigate child-rearing!” But it’s true that new attitudes and knowledge about what’s best for children emerge over the years. An outside expert, like those registered nurses, has authority that inspires confidence and compliance. Your grandchildren are a bit past the child-rearing stages we talk about in the vignette, right, Mr. Sugita.
That’s right. Two of our grandchildren are in their preteens and early teens, and the third one will enter primary school next year. So we’ve finished our share of maternal and newborn care. But we still have to be mindful of not offering unsolicited advice about how they should be brought up. You see, our son’s family moved into the same condominium complex with us last year. There are ample merits to living close to each other, but we have to bite our tongues and wait until our advice is sought.
I think you’re right, I think that is the crucial point. I hope I can do that someday for my daughter, be ready to help with her kids, but only when she asks for it. And I’m sure that just providing reassurance will be one of the most important things I can do. When my daughter was still a baby, some of the most vital support. I got from my parents and in-laws was just them saying “Don’t worry. X or Y or Z happens all the time with kids. It’s not serious.” And that didn’t stop when she grew out of babyhood. They still reassure me like that all the time.
Letting a husband and sometimes children in the delivery room and filming the moment of childbirth seems to be quite popular in Japan too. Did you film your daughter’s birth, Heather?
No, we didn’t. My husband was in the delivery room with me though for which I was very grateful.
He held my hand, wiped my forehead and encouraged me to keep going the whole time.
Any other advice for potential grandparents?
I did like a suggestion about being positive. I was pretty nervous in the early days of my daughter’s life.
I was so scared. I was gonna do something wrong and cause a horrible problem. So I was very grateful when friends and family told me, “Hang in there. I know it’s all new and really daunting right now. But you’re doing a great job. And it’s going to get easier. You’ll get to know her habits and things will start flowing more smoothly.”
Every moment is worth a thousand pieces of gold.
On a spring evening, every moment is worth a thousand pieces of gold.
Time is money. 時は金なり
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